Monday, 8 July 2013

I ain't as good as I'm gonna get, But I'm better than I used to be

I ain't no angel
I still got a few more dances with the devil
I’m cleaning up my act little by little
I’m getting there
I can finally stand the man in the mirror I see
I ain’t as good as I’m gonna get
But I’m better than I used to be

This Tim McGraw song is a few years old, and happened to be on the radio the other day when I needed it. I just happened to catch it as I was rushing to the store, kids yelling, the 6- year old demanding “TAYLOR SWIFT” (yes, she has learned who she is, and they are never ever ever getting back together!), and the rain pouring down out of nowhere.

To me, this song has so much meaning behind it. It is my life, summed up in a verse.
I am not perfect, nor an angel. I know I have people who look up to me as a mom, a role model, a friend, and a motivator. Sometimes, I don’t live up to those roles, I fall apart; sometimes I don’t only live up to those roles, I blow them out of the water. I am very well versed at the one step forward two steps back tango. 

 I make mistakes all the time, I mess up, and I falter. I am weak when it comes to certain types of 
temptations, usually a gold blended beverage with tequila in it… 

But I know my weaknesses, I know where I have failed, and I have changed. I no longer weigh 275lbs, every day I am better than I was yesterday, because I pushed myself to be better. As long as I continue getting better and better, my weaknesses will become less and less. 

I still have learning to do, I am not done, nor do I want to be done. I have learned amazing things that I am capable of. I a “Work in Process”, and as I continue down this path, I WILL get to my final destination. 

But I am happy where I am, right now, today. I can hold my head up high, with a smile on my face, and know that I have given it my all; but I am NOT done. 

And I am better than I used to be.

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